...and I'm beginning to understand that the First Born is probably smarter than his father.
His latest party trick? When he wakes up in the morning, he needs to have his nappy changed. Since I usually get up earlier than Dr M, the jobs falls to me. So I remove the sodden, wee-soaked nappy and slap on a nice new clean one.
Then five minutes later, I need to change him again because he has let loose a smelly one (and I do mean a smelly one - since we've started to incorporate solids into his diet, his poos have taken on a new depth and range of smell, texture, aesthetic appeal...).
Not a problem. I put off the change for a half hour or so after we get out of bed (soory - after he gets us out of bed), to give him enough time to do his business. Fat chance. He waits, zen-like in his patience and tranquility, then lets rip with his farts the second the clean nappy is strapped onto him. So I wait even longer. Same result.
My sister in law pointed out in his defense that I wouldn't do my business in a smelly toilet. She does have a point there. Even so...
Anyway. The boy was six months old last week. Time flies when you're having fun, no? Well, this is what I've learnt since last December
1 - The mouth is, given the right conditions, as versatile as a hand. You can pick things up, hold them, wave them around and given said things to another person if both hands are occupied.
2 - Under certain experimental conditions, so is the top of the head. It takes a bit of balancing, and is usually useful only for fabric, soft material and stuff that you don't mind breaking if you drop.
3 - All the books say that small infants love travelling in cars, and that it is a great way to put them to sleep in extremis. Unfortunately, The First Born hasn't read this chapter in his instruction manual yet
4 - At best, the age guide in children's clothing is a very rough approximation. At worst, it is worse than useless. As I write, TFB is wearing a T-shirt that proudly proclaims that it is for children of age 12-18 months. Now, he is a big lad, but even so...
5 - When buying t-shirts and anything that goes over the head, always buy the ones with poppers or buttons at the neckline so you can widen the neck. There is nothing worse than a small child howling his head off with a t-shirt stuck half on, half off his head.
6 - Children's clothing is obscenely expensive, taking into account the amount of use one gets out of it. If you intend to have another child, hang on to them.
7 - or better yet, if you have friends and family with infants a bit younger and a bit older than yours, start up a swap club and let the clothes go around
(note - this doesn't really work once the infant is old enough to crawl, walk and wear their clothes into shabby threads five seconds after purchase)
8 - Friends and family of the new born - clothes are always good presents. Gift vouchers for children's clothing stores are even better - the parent can pick precisely what they want, when they want.
9 - There are enough hours in the day. It's just a matter of how you use them. Some things have to be sacrificed, like lie ins, the cinema, channel surfing, etc
10 - We were told after the birth by at least 10 medical professionals (midwife, doctor, health visitor etc) to get ourselves sorted out contraception wise, so as to make sure that we do not have an unexpected surprise before the infant is walking and talking. What they forget is that, even if one were so minded, the combination of lack of sleep and lack of energy makes the chances of a conception extremely slim.
11 - Mind you, if you and your beloved are hardy enough (and other things besides), please do remember that the myth of breast feeding serving as an effective contraceptive device is precisely that. A myth.
12 - I understand that breastfeeding is the best way of losing the pregnancy pounds. Now all I need to do is to convince TFB that I am just as good as his mother...
13 - Once they start moving independently, you do need eyes in the back of the head. We've just come back from the park, where TFB spent a full half hour waiting for my attention to wander so he could grab handfuls of grass to shovel into his mouth. The cunning little rascal did the same yesterday at the beach. He waits patiently, smiling winningly at innocent passers-by and pretends to be the perfect child until one's attention wanders for just a second...then he's off, commando style towards the forbidden fruit.
14 - I've always been bothered by these child care experts who talk about a child 'learning' to express his needs, eat, drink, sleep and generally behave. Never quite sure why. Figured it out now. Of course the child learns. But so do the parents. They learn about their children, what they need and the sometimes very indirect ways that they choose to communicate these needs. And they learn, sometimes, just a little bit about themselves too in the process.
Ok. Time for a nap.
Bye.
LOVE IT! couldn't have said it better myself:)
They are going to be so much MORE work (as hard as it is to believe) when they can walk / run!
Don't know if you've had the pleasure yet, but holding them while they projectile vomit, is quite the experiance as well.... hmmm, i'll leave that for you to ponder.
Alicia
Posted by: alicia r | June 25, 2007 at 01:30 PM
So, our little monsters are 7 months and a week now... is yours keeping you scrambling like mine is? She is all over the place... crawling here, rollin there... never still and pulling up on everything to stand? We (when i say we, i mean my husband) were supposed to lower her crib down because she was standing and it looked as though she could fall out. Well, weeks went by and we (my husband) never got to it... and Sunday, I had just gotten out of the shower and I went to her room to talk to her while getting dressed (she loves when mommy talks to her) and she decideds to lean forward and fall head first out of her crib!! I scream for my husband as I make a mad dash for her, catching her by her stomach just centimeters before she hits the ground... she was scared, she cried, i yelled, and my husband says 'well, she can't go back in there till i lower the bed'....
DUH.
The crib has been lowered.
And now the little monkey is trying to chew on the railing of the crib... now I have to figure out how to keep the teething monkey from eating the crib!
Good luck to you and your wife with you lil angel:P
Posted by: alicia r | July 25, 2007 at 01:36 PM